"I have a problem with watching reality T.V. It’s addictive. I almost had to go to “Celebrity Rehab” Rehab."
— Ben Kolina @ Vitus [Paraphrase]
![I like hookers because they let you do things that your girlfriend won’t; you pay them, they have to do it. You get to do things like… have an opinion.
- Justin Alan @ Vitus
[Photo by Russell Limprecht]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4n86qLPMy1qcxc43o1_1280.jpg)
I like hookers because they let you do things that your girlfriend won’t; you pay them, they have to do it. You get to do things like… have an opinion.
- Justin Alan @ Vitus
[Photo by Russell Limprecht]
"Sodomy after murder seems pretty shitty."
— Coree Spencer @ Vitus [Paraphrase]
"I’m a psychic with amnesia. I can see into the future what I’m going to forget."
— Michael Meehan @ Cafe Prague
"I can’t wait for Rick Santorum’s gay sex meth scandal."
— Dave Clay @ Vitus [Paraphrase]
"My motto is live every day as if I were about to kill you.”
-Kim Jong Un"
-Kim Jong Un"
— Miles K (via Clever Things to Say)
"Where’s my lezzies at?"
— Eric Barry’s opening line @ Cafe Prague
Johan Miranda and Audience In... Our Little Fantasy
- Johan Miranda (to the male counterpart of a couple): You're gonna get laid tonight. And I hope you think of me.
- Audience Member: I hope I don't!
- Johan Miranda: Let me just smell your fingers then.
"This election it’s Obama and Romney… the snake oil salesman and the snake."
— Griffin Daley @ Our Little Theater
"The only thing to strengthen you against mushrooms is years of cocaine use."
— Mean Dave @ Vitus [Paraphrase]
